Diary Entry: The Rollercoaster Of Cancer

“A rollercoaster metaphor is used a lot to describe a cancer diagnosis and its treatment. 

I’ve found this to be pretty accurate. 

Each treatment cycle is a constant up & down of physical symptoms, emotions, energy levels & positivity levels – changing every few hours. 

And just when everything starts to settle at the end of the 14 days, you have to gear yourself up to go to hospital, get another hit of the chemo, and start the rollercoaster ride all over again 🙃

I haven’t felt settled & consistent for a very, very long time. 

The rollercoaster metaphor is a bit basic though. It’s too 2D. Too simplistic. It doesn’t take into account the context and the surroundings in which the rollercoaster ride exists. The theme park its in, the weather, the fellow passengers, how smooth or clunky the ride is, the queue time….

Because beyond the “oncology” of cancer and the nuts + bolts of navigating the side effects of the treatment, so much other stuff is going on.

Like how it affects your inner circle of loved ones, wading through everyone’s intersected stress and heightened emotions as you turn their lives upside down.

Like how it affects your sense of self, your confidence, your sexuality, your independence, your overall identity.

Like how it affects your social life, your friendships and relating to other people.

Like how it affects all your priorities, life goals and outlook for the future. My old goal was to build a business & an adventurous life for myself, in the sun and by the sea. My new goal is to optimise my health & never get cancer again!

It’s a ride. A big ride. It touches all the edges. A full throttle experience that has changed me and will change how I lead my life moving forwards. 

I’ve learned to surrender to what is, to find meaning & hope & opportunity in the challenge, to embark on the biggest healing journey I’ve ever been on and to frickin’ BLESS THIS MESS.”

Share this post: