Diary entry: My diagnosis

“A week ago, I found out news I was truly hoping I would dodge. That the tumour that’s the size of a small football – growing next to my heart – is cancerous.

I have blood cancer, something called Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma.

A phrase that I had never heard of before, is now something that has changed the course of my life.

To think that I was in Ibiza only a few weeks ago, hatching a plan to move to the island and pursue a life + lifestyle that I’ve been chasing and carving for years…

It’s a humbling reminder that life & the universe have other plans, can throw you curveballs at the drop of a hat, can serve you up a new, surprise assignment that that will test your reserve and courage when you least expect it.

You’re not met with many reckonings in your lifetime, yet I’m fully aware that this is one. 

The past week has been a bit of a blur, time feels different and emotions are dense. It’s hard to describe. 

It’s like the earth has slipped off its axis, and I’m living in a parallel timeline, filled with the unfamiliar words, acronyms, places, people and smells that come hand in hand with spending a lot of time at hospital. 

Soon, I too will become unfamiliar to myself and unrecognisable in the mirror, which I know will only compound the surreal and fearsome nature of this experience. 

I am really, really frightened. But I’m also treating this as a challenge, which helps me keep my composure and strength. 

Every single holistic, self-healing tool I have in the box is coming out to support me through this, whilst I turn fully towards this experience and feel everything it has to offer, believing that this diagnosis will become one of my greatest teachers. I trust wholeheartedly that I’ll get treated and cured, and will grow through this huge initiation of a journey.

Time to channel my Inner Warrior.

I hope very, very much to get back to that happy, healthy place again soon”.

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